Captain Catastrophe rides again!

Yeah, I went on that bike again.

Well, it’s a beautiful evening so I figure let’s get on this thing. This

weekend, my father and I adjusted the back wheel. I switched out that

torture rack they call a seat with the old grandma seat on my one-speed

coaster-brake bike. It was pretty easy. The one-speed just need a

ratchet to take it off and the new bike had a little release that you

could tighten.

And I was off.

Nearly made it to the end of the alley.

Nearly.

Hit a bump in some uneven payment. Back tire. Slid off. It held on to

the very end of the frame, but nearly was going to start bounding down

the road. Luckily, caught myself on my feet. Wasn’t going too fast,

which frankly with my ability, was never going to happen anyway.

Walked the bike home again thinking this bike has been walked five times

farther than I ever rode it and gave careful consideration to just

taking up walking and forgetting this nightmare. But I realigned the

back tire again and tightened the hell out of it. I figured if this

doesn’t work, Dad is going to have to weld it.

I climbed back on this puppy, and it actually rode uneventful for a

while. I decided to go drop off a deposit I needed to make at the bank.

It was, of course, closed by the time I got there . . . but . . .

I GOT THERE!

That was enough for me. I gleefully started riding home. I nearly ran

into some old fella on the sidewalk (I don’t drive in the street–I’d be

dead by now if I did) and I swore I recognized him. I always figure old

folks know me because of my involvement in the German clubs and how my

radio show averages a Eulogy every two months. He’s probably, as I’m

typing this, complaining about me to yet another granddaughter that I’ll

never have a chance with.

That’s when a small terrier or something started yipping at me. I’ll

have you know I maintained my balance and I expect mucho respecto for

that.

I was now in the home stretch when this gorgeous woman is walking her

dog (what the heck with all these dogs in my neighborhood today anyway?

I thought at least one of my neighbors was a serial killer in the making

and would torture and maim these things at night–but NO). Obviously, I

became a tad, er, distracted. Pulled a Jack Tripper right into a fifty

foot, class two utility pole (NOT A TELEPHONE POLE). Apparently the jerk

that buys these things (me) gets some pretty good quality based on how

soundly it knocked me off the bike. My new seat came off, too. But that

was easy enough to replace. Sadly, the gorgeous woman didn’t take pity

or anything (that would have been a Mentos moment) so I collected my

teeth and got back on the bike.

I would rate the trip like a six. Only sustained minor injuries. May be

a while before I get on that death trap again.

Back to the X-Box.

Tim

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