- Quit Smoking – Since I don’t smoke I think this should be an easy one to keep. I’m putting this one in the list just to keep my percentage kept numbers up, nice and high.
- Quit Drinking – Got to keep that percentage up. This one should prove harder since I have more than one friend that tells me I ought to take it up. And if my job keeps up the way it does, I may be driven there against my will.
- Stop picking on people (particularly appearance) – Yeah. This is a lost cause. I was thinking over this very item eating lunch at the Grand Avenue Mall when I see this lady with a square head. Yeah–a cube. I mean like her face was a perfect plane with hardly even her nose jutting out from the surface. I’m sure the hairstyle helped it look this way and while the corners were somewhat rounded–I could help but wonder: “Were they always like that, or did they have sharper edges at one time and slowly, surely they wore off to rounded corners?” Yes, this one is a loss.
- Stop cursing at work – Please note I put in the proviso of “at work” to give myself a 50/50 chance. I was going to put out a coin jar and put in a quarter every time I swore, but this would probably just end up a revenue stream for me so I couldn’t. By my way of thinking, I’d reward myself with something every time that jar would fill. At least Linda has been supportive. She won’t let me say “frick” but she has okayed “jack-rearend.” Thanks, Linda.
- Going to lose weight – Note: no goal amount. This means even one pound will make this a winner. I’m pretty proud of this one. Now, the real question is how you do this particular feat. First off, I’m going vary my diet. No, that doesn’t mean I’m going to magically be able to choke down vegetables. Wouldn’t even want to. But I’m going to mix it up a little. Like today. I went to Rocky Rococo’s for a Super Slice of Sausage and Pepperoni and a medium Coke. See? No breadsticks. That’s mixing it up. I could try exercise, I suppose, but we all know what happens when I get on that bicycle of mine and the new deductible for insurance means I won’t be doing that soon.
- Decide on new work pace – This is an important one. I don’t want to burn out and I don’t want to be bored. But the pace I’m keeping is kind of grating on me. I can’t keep this up forever. –And then there’s the work I have at my job, too.
- Remain clothed most of the day – Another gimme. I’m the type that gets so embarrassed that when I change clothes I wish I could leave the room.
- Sleep more – This is for every year. Recovering insomniacs have to remain ever vigilant. If I really do get super-tired, though, I know a great little trick. Ready for it? Jaegermeister. I was real beat one year after cooking pigs at German Fest, came home, had a shot of Jaggy, made it up the first flight of steps, and slept most of the night on the stair landing. It works great!
- Relax on Mondays – I have this one actually moving forward. First, I’m bringing on staff by hiring a maid. Second, I’m working very hard at becoming more of a bum. Luckily at work, I have many role models to attempt to emulate. This should help a lot.
- No more than five (5) projects at any one time – I go schizo sometimes with all the goofy projects I have going. I got home tonight, set up the pageant interview, typed out an interview with OnMilwaukee.com, blasted some phone calls out, watered the plants, went to the bathroom (those last two are separate activities), made a really nice dinner with pork chops and updated the website. I need to scale back. I’m thinking about not going to work. That seems to take the most time. Then, again, I think they’re looking at me not coming in, either. Scary.
If. If. If I follow these.
Please note I didn’t have one reading “Stop being a klutz.” Don’t worry. We’ll have material for this page for years to come.
Yours in tragedy,
Captain Catastrophe