Captain returns

Well, it’s been a while. Been a while since old Captain Catastrophe has
shown his little bleeding face around here.

And I figured yesterday I would have one for you for sure. I went to
Great America and did all sorts of risky things. You know, stand in line
for hours at a time, and then stand in another line, and then another
one. But didn’t injure myself much at all. Uneventful, even. Yeah, I got
to go on the new roller coaster, Ragin’ Cajun, and that was a lot of fun
and all, but not so much as a scratch.

And don’t worry, Chris, I won’t tell about your injury. Though I would
love to.

Anyway, the Captain comes home today and decides to do the lawn. Again.
Nice. Easy. No problems.

Kind of wondering if this is still me.

Then this stupid schmuck you know and love turns on the computer. What
could be safer? Maybe getting a glass of lemonade, right? I mean how
could you hurt yourself like that? That would truly take a warped genius
to pull that off.

I fill the glass from the pitcher of some of that Raspberry Ice Tea I
like and it’s tasting real good after mowing the lawn. Now, I’m counting
that as exercise by the way, so I don’t feel guilty for watching “North
Shore” later on Tivo. That and running around at lunch, which was way
more than usual. So it counts, durn it!

You know how glass gets slippery when it is wet, even if it’s just
spilled Raspberry Ice Tea? Yeah. Glass fell right out of my hand, like
I’m a frigging toddler. Where do you think it would land? That’s right.
Right on the toe of the foot that I’ve been having problems with. Oddest
part: the glass didn’t break. Very weird. I almost did, but the glass
didn’t break.

Anyway, if you needed more evidence I’m the most uncoordinated human
being on the face of the planet–there you go.

Captain Catastrophe

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