The Captain returns from the Dells

Well, I’m back from another waterslide trip to the Dells.

Happily, the Captain’s services were not needed when I went to the
go-kart and roller coaster place. This, once again, proves that the more
dangerous activity, the more likely I will come away uninjured. Defusing
bomb–no problem. Pick up a magazine on the family room door–stiches
coming soon.

I went to the Wilderness Resort this time, which is a far classier
resort, than the Treasure Island resort I had been visiting. They have
two different indoor waterparks.

I couldn’t help but compare the two. The Wilderness had a less
aggressive group of lifeguards, which made the Captain quite nervous.
Apparently I decided to test this, because I did THE EXACT SAME THING
that happened to me from Treasure Island. That’s right. Fell off the
tube! Again! Now, the lifeguards this time did seem to look concerned
for me and didn’t yell at me like last time. I think that may, however,
be due to the fact that I fell into the drink headfirst.

I decided to then try a single tube, as opposed to the double tube,
which is the shape of an oval. So I jump on this donut and, lo and
behold, I have a new trick in me. That’s right–I didn’t fall off that
one. I simply spun around and went backwards down the tube.

The lifeguards did point out the tubes weren’t designed for that.

I told them neither was I.

Captain Catastrophe

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