Captain Catastrophe had a “near miss” two days ago in the backyard.
I was getting out of the Captain Cruiser in the Captain Garage and
leaving via the side access door by this sizeable tree that the
squirrels just love. Well, one of them little suckers was lying in wait.
I heard a tussle.
I looked up.
I saw the squirrel FALL OUT OF THE TREE. Weirdest sight (outside of the
movie “Brazil”) I had ever seen. He fell on his tail and backside,
quickly righted himself and scampered up the tree.
However! I suspect this was part of a larger plot. An elaborate scheme
to take my very life. I have uncovered a sophisticated acorn-laundering
operation that led to a squirrel hit squad being stationed in my back
yard. I continue to investigate the back yard wildlife’s connections
with the mafia and now this “near miss.”
I’m getting close. I can taste it.
Oh, by the way, hurt myself with the drop fertilizer last week, too.
Very skilled. I was taking it off the hooks on the side of the garage
and dropped it alright–on my left foot.
Come to think of it, I saw a squirrel messing around that spredder when
he thought I wasn’t looking . . .