Oh, yes, I went to the Wisconsin Dells, but my secret identity was soon
revealed. In the annals of clumsy behavior, a new wing is being
developed for my exploits alone.
So I went for the weekend to the Dells to go in one of those Indoor
Water Parks. I’ve been to the park before, around Thanksgiving, without
incident so I was fairly certain I would not be injured.
I was wrong.
I went on my little tube dealy-bob and the lifeguard there pushed me
down the tube. I was on the tube correctly and the first thing that
happens is you go down a little hill into an enclosed tube when a
waterfall hits you. Well, I closed my eyes so I wouldn’t get the
chlorine in my eyes.
Apparently, I needed my vision a little longer to maintain my balance.
When I opened my eyes, I was closely following the tube. It almost got
away, but I stabbed at it with my hands and I hooked a handle. Now, I
started to struggle to get back on this thing.
I knew all along I’d never be able to. I mean, I had enough trouble
trying to get on this thing when it was in the still loading pond. So I
tried rolling back on, sort of. But see, you are sliding along at 30-45
mph down the tube. I tumbling around, trying to get on this thing, not
only to regain some small measure of control, but also to regain my
dignity.
Not in the cards.
When I clumsily collapsed into the receiving bay, the lifeguard yelled
at me for not following the rules. I was aghast she mistaked my clutz
streak for hot dogging. Perhaps I could find someone that saw me fall
off my bike earlier that I was indeed performing a trick instead off
just falling off my bike.
Nah.
Captain Catastrophe
BTW, thanks a lot, Chief, for trying to spoil my secret identity. But
the legend lives on!!